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avatar for Jonathan Palmer

Jonathan Palmer

I am incomparable, amazing, and I have no equal. ~#~

I can ride a bicycle with no hands and pick up pencils with my
toes. I graduated Morehouse College in 1994 with a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology and a minor in Drama. While there I single-handedly reinstituted the Metric System and reconfigured the Subway to make transwarp travel possible. ~#~


I walked to McDonalds on more than one occasion. ~#~

I sat out of college for 2 1/2 years between my Sophomore and
Junior years. In the interim, I joined on with a travelling all Bass band that played only Gospel music. I made my clothes from recycled plastic and fig leaves. In the summers, I served as president of a small liberal arts college, graduating 400 students in the field of interdimensional zoology. ~#~

I found four-leaf clovers. ~#~

My career aspirations stem from the deep-seated belief that all people are created equal, and all life excels from a conscientiously applied program of regular oral hygiene. I have served with NASA, a Deaf church, a Psychiatric hospital, HUD and the Justice League of America. Often times I'm considered a political smokejumper, leaping into situations where angels fear to tread and setting up backfires to extinguish the blaze...however, I also run a historically Black community center that arose out of the Settlement House movement that serves the community in the Summit University area of Saint Paul. ~#~

I sang with the Morehouse College Glee Club for four years, recording on two albums, producing one of them. My favorite afterschool pastime is explaining the philosophical differences of Booker T. Washington and W.E.B. DuBois to passerbys on the street and local wildlife. I enjoy ontological proofs for the existence of Shirley MacLaine, and am regarded as an urban legend. ~#~

I am ahead of my time, but only by about 24 seconds. ~#~

I am influential, having lived along the East Coast, sometimes in my own little world. I negotiated a peace treaty between warring gangleaders, and convinced the fashion industry to adopt silk. ~#~

I am frictionless. ~#~

In my spare time I paint, I write poetry, I draw. I dodge, I
weave, and I parry. My bills are mostly settled, and I have engaged a trustfund for wayward tomcats. I am President of the Minnesota Coalition of Scottish Clans, Director of Gatherings for the International Clan MacFarlane Society and and yes it's true regarding what's under the kilt. I believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and have been known to recreate small-scale models of the Saturn plant, and invite people in for a test drive. ~#~

Men fear me. ~#~

I have lofty ideals, but am committed to purpose. When I play, I
play hard. When I work, I don't play at all.